i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
