My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
