Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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