We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
