Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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