Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No subtext here. People are naked.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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