When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize