U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
