2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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