I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
