Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
