how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
