I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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