Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize