We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Everclear isn't food dammit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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