She even gives head with a lisp.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize