please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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