the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
