I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
People in love make me want to vomit
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
