I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
