i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
