I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
