That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
