..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
