I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
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New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.