But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.