loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.