i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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