You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.