so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!