He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
