She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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