Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize