Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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