Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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