i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize