Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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