'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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