u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize