you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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