I think I am morally bankrupt
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
