Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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