Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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