just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
