Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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