Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I stole a fireplace last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
