Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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