This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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