so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
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Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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