Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
