I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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