He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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