We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
