how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
