Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it's like iHOP with fire
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need to align my fucking chakras
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