So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm going to jail i love you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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