the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's Friday. Sex?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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