Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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