she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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