Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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