I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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