There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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