I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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