no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize