i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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