I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize