physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your dad touched me again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
