why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
