We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
